As an artist, I truly believe that honest art only comes from real feelings. I have been trying to record my emotions and to explore the truth of life through art. My work is inspired by Sigmund Freud’s theory, which suggests one’s psyche can be divided into id and ego. Because of the internal conflicts I have been experiencing under different circumstances throughout my life, sometimes I feel that I am composed of two selves, which I named id and ego. Id is the emotional self, who urges every desire to be satisfied. On the other hand, Ego is the rational self, who is calm and realistic. Therefore, I created this series of 10 pastel drawings, “Mute Chaos: The Conflict of Id and Ego”, which depicts the psychological state of my mind at different moments. I chose chalk pastel because it gives me a sensation of touch and allows me to express my emotions more delicately as well as energetically. Not only does pastel gives me the freedom to vent my feelings on the paper, but it also stimulates my senses, especially when it sometimes breaks as if this results from the conflicts in my art.
- No.1 “Dissatisfaction”. Both Id and Ego are seeking “quick yet intense fun” in this modern society, as they ceaselessly crave more possibilities from social media.
- No.2 “Gluttony”. Id periodically gluttonizes due to anxiety, while Ego consoles Id and protects her from being judged by others.
- No.3 “Lust”. The lustful Id is having sexual intercourse with an abstract black masculine symbol, while Ego is contemplating the emptiness of life on the right side.
- No.4 “Sociality”. The pessimistic Ego protects the sociable Id and divides people they encounter into different circles of proximity.
- No.5 “Idealism”. Id indulges in fantasizing, while Ego is determined. They are chasing their dreams together.
- No.6 “Inferiority”. When Id and Ego are trapped in an inferior state, Id feels small, skeptical and shameful, while Ego gives Id understanding, comfort and support.
- No.7 “Inarticulation”. The red ball symbolizes warm words, but Id, under the influence of a fierce environment, only manages to convey a tiny fraction of it. Therefore, Id ends up being misunderstood by others, suffering from the difficulty to fully convey her message to others.
- No.8 “Distraction”. Ego tries to stay calm and focused, while the curious Id is always distracted by various things floating around her.
- No.9 “Prejudice”. The pristine form of myself, a combination of Id and Ego, is holding a fire called passion. This is my true self that I long for others to see, but others often perceive me as those different masks floating around me, none of which resembles the real me.
My work is more about asking questions rather than solving problems. I hope my work encourages people to ask questions about themselves.